BitLife

BitLife
     Ever wanted to play SIMS but without all the graphics?  Ever miss the days of text based games like Legend of the Red Dragon?  This incredibly fun and addictive game allows you to take control of lives immediately after birth and make all of their important life decisions leading up to their inevitable death.  Rinse and repeat...

     I'm not entirely sure why I downloaded this initially.  I'd never heard anything about it but when I saw it in the app store the idea of a text based game intrigued me.  I used to love text based games back in the 1990s.  I certainly was not let down with this one.

     The app has actually been updated a couple times since about a month ago when I first downloaded it, so a few of these screen shots are already out of date!  the app developers are sure on top of their game.  I really enjoy loading it up and seeing what new options they've added in.

     The app is really simple.  Users press the New Life button to begin a new journey and boom!  Instant origin story.  The app gives you a random set of parents (Or sometimes a single parent), a place of birth, a gender, siblings (Or sometimes no siblings) etc.  Your parents and siblings have their own characteristics such as how religious or generous they are, how much money they earn, their occupation, etc.  The app even tells you exactly how you were conceived which can often be quite funny.

     Every year you can make several choices and interact with your family (And later with people you enter a relationship with), but the first few years have very limited choice making as you are still a baby.  I would very much encourage you to avoid fighting anyone before age 10 if possible.  The amount of times I have died in my youth by engaging in simple squabbling with my siblings, I can not even tell you.  I even got murdered at age 7 by my two year old brother... Murdered by a two year old!  this game really throws some curve balls...

     Your character can get sick from time to time which means you should take them to the doctor.  this is free until you are no longer under the care of your parents (IE graduate).  After this point you have to foot the bill so you might want to try saving up for emergencies.

     You have to abide by the laws of your country of origin unless you move.  Sometimes this means not being able to buy a car or drive until later years or not being allowed to date people of the same sex.  One character I decided to make a homosexual woman but I was born into a country where I could not marry the same gender so I and my girlfriend emigrated to France so we could get married.  In another life I was a gay man and I kept being arrested and put in jail for dating other men, even years after we had broken up.  I was in and out of jail a lot in that life.

     Speaking of jail... avoid it if you intend to try earning a lot of money.  Once you go to jail, for any reason or no matter how short the sentence, you will automatically not be allowed to get hired for a ton of different occupations.  You'll either have to do really low wage jobs that aren't really interesting or you'll have to lead a life of crime... I generally turn to the life of crime.  It's just more fun.

     Characters can begin a life of petty crime at a fairly young age, even before they can drive sometimes.  Stealing cars, pick pocketing and even murder are on the table.  Recently they added burglarising a house to the options.  This one requires you to play a short mini game to determine what you steal and whether or not you get caught.  As for the others, it's random but i find the more you do crime the less a chance you run of getting caught.  this could just have been my luck though.

     Stealing cars can save money and you can always sell them on the black market to earn money.  Just remember any crime you commit runs the chance of you going to jail.

     A fun story was one life I had where I lived a fairly uneventful life aside from stealing over 60 cars over my lifetime.  However, as I got closer to age 100 years I decided that for my 100th Birthday I would celebrate by committing murder.  Age 100 came and I went out to murder a random rabbi.  I tried pushing him down the stairs but he didn't die and called the police.  I bought the best lawyers and was found not guilty... No jail for me.  But I did say i would celebrate my 100th Birthday by committing murder... so I went out again and tried to murder my ex.  He fought back and beat me up pretty bad... He escaped.  Third time's the charm!  I tried to kill another ex of mine and I succeeded!  Finally finishing celebrating my murderous Birthday I went to jail.  I got an 80 year sentence.  I didn't feel like trying to escape (Which you can do when you go to jail), so I just aged up.  Year 101 of my life I died peacefully in my sleep.  Life well lived.

     Users can lead great lives, successful lives, horrible lives, etc.  I once lived a life where I had almost 20 children and we all lived together in a 1 bedroom trailer.

     Users can purchase houses and cars, go on holidays to other countries or on cruises.  There are tons of occupations to choose from as well.  You can emigrate, get plastic surgery (Even a sex change), go to the spa, sign up for a dating app, go to the gym, donate sperm, go to the club, gamble at casinos and horse tracks, play the lottery, etc.  there are so many options available you just have to keep playing to see how many combinations you can get.

     The game has achievements you can earn as well as special ribbons awarded at the end of a life on the tombstone.  the ribbons are related to the type of life lived, 'Jailbird', 'Geriatric', 'Mediocre' and 'Unlucky' are just a few ribbons users can get.  It is fun to try to collect them all.

     Find your real life boring?  This application allows you to live hundreds of more interesting lives.  I find myself really enjoying this and laughing at some of the silly things that end up happening.  I love sharing my stories with other people who play the app. and comparing my lives to theirs.  I highly recommend this app.  I even paid to remove the ads.  The ads are a minor inconvenience and don't hinder the play at all.  They aren't excessive like some apps.  I paid to remove them purely because I enjoyed the app and wanted to support the creators.
Rating: 5/5

• Free
• Seller: Candywriter, LLC
• Category: Games
• Size: 67.3 MB
• Languages: English
• Copyright: © 2018 Candywriter, LLC

You must be at least 17 years old to download this app. Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, or Drug Use or References Infrequent/Mild Cartoon or Fantasy Violence Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humor Infrequent/Mild Simulated Gambling Frequent/Intense Mature/Suggestive Themes Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content and Nudity

Wedding Escape

Wedding Escape
     If you are looking for an interesting and challenging puzzle game with a funny theme, this is the app for you.  Each stage is a different location as you flee your bride or groom after dashing from the alter on your wedding day!  Run from police, bride's maids and everyone else as you solve puzzles in the great wedding escape.

     Now the app store is not exactly in want of puzzle games but I rather enjoyed this one as it has a different style from most colour matching gem style puzzle games.  You can move several gems per move by sliding your finger from one to the next along an adjacent path.  The moves are very limited though so each turn you need to get as many matches of 3 or more as possible to remove the required amount of gems or coins and escape whomever happens to be chasing you.

     Each stage gets harder and harder and if I am honest, I don't feel like I've made it very far before getting caught.  I've only made it to level 9, which is the Hyperloop stage.

     If you play enough and want to make the play through a bit easier you can purchase upgrades when you aren't in the middle of escaping (IE before or after your game).

      The upgrades cost the money you acquire while playing the game.  For every move left by the end of a stage, you get 25 coins.  Save up your coins after each game to buy your upgrades.

     Each upgrade can be purchased multiple times.  For instance, if you buy the Multiple Selection upgrade, you can select one more adjacent gem or coin per turn.  If you buy it again, you can get one more per turn, and so on.  Each upgrade also has a max amount of times it can be purchased.  The upgrades available are as follows...

• Multiple Selection (+1 Tile) 10 Available
• Price Deflation 7 Available
• Shuffle Board 5 Available
• More Slot Tokens 5 Available
• More Slot Coins 2 Available
• More Slot Hearts 2 Available
• Level Skipper (Skips 1 Level at start) 16 Available

     Players can also choose to purchase the in game currency if they want to.  The prices are 2.99USD for 5000, 9.99USD for 25000 or 29.99USD for 100000.  The coin bundles also have cute images associated with them.  They are spoofs of Mr Burns from Simpsons, Cruella Deville from 101 Dalmatians and Scrooge McDuck from Ducktales.

    In fact, this game has tons of pop culture references built in.  Players can choose the character they play from the character selection menu.  The more you play, the more options get unlocked.  Characters can also be purchased for 0.99USD.  The app features 100 playable characters!  Everything from Dorothy and Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz to Bill Nye the Science Guy and the Jetsons to the band KISS.  Even YouTube spoof characters and celebrity knock offs are in the app.

     There is one more optional purchase in the game and it is a bit of an important option to have available.  Whenever you fail to complete a stage the game ends.  Because this means you failed to escape your wedding, you have to divorce to go back to the beginning of the game.  This divorce will cost you half of all the money your earned from your play through.  But if you choose to purchase a lawyer for 4.99USD this won't affect you because you will get double money from every play through.

     There is a way to get double money without a lawyer, but it requires users to watch a 30 second ad video at the end of the game, every time.  This can get tedious so the lawyer option is there to avoid that.

     There is one more part of this app and that also comes at the end of your play through.  When the game ends you get a little slot machine pop up.  You get one slot play by default, but the upgrades can earn you more plays.  The slot machine can give you an extra move to go back and try not to lose the game, or it can give you more money, more slot plays or a new character unlocked.  It feels like the more slot plays you get the greater the chance to fail though.  When I had one spin I always won something.  I bought an upgrade to get another slot spin each time and I usually only won once.  I bought another so I had 3 total spins after each game and I still only won about once.  Sometimes I get extra spins from the slot wins and these almost always fail as well... I'm not sure the slot upgrades are really worth it unless you upgraded everything else.

     The graphics are good and the theme is funny.  I love the amount of characters and how challenging the levels can be.  I think it's a good, well made application and definitely worth a download.

Rating: 4/5

• Free
• Seller: Rafael Lima
• Category: Games
• Size: 74 MB
• Languages: English
• Copyright: © 2015 Firebirdgames.net

Rated 9+ for the following: Infrequent/Mild Horror/Fear Themes and Infrequent/Mild Cartoon or Fantasy Violence

Japanese Pickup Lines

Japanese Pickup Lines for iPhone
     Are you spending the holiday alone?  You still have time to find a special someone to spend the end of the year with!  Don't give up!  Impress her with your vast knowledge of Japanese pickup lines!... What?  You don't know any Japanese pickup lines?... Well, then this is the application for you.
     Keep in mind that this application is full of "Pickup lines"... Pickup lines are terrible things you can say to someone you are attracted to that will almost gaurantee that they will never again want to speak to you.  However, if they are drunk enough, or you are cute enough, or they don't speak Japanese (So they don't know what you're saying), you might just have a chance!
     Many of these lines are useful for both males and females to use.  When you shake the device it will provide you with one pickup line.  The audio will play to show you how the phrase is said.  It will display both the Romanji and the English for the phrase.  The issue is, it does this very quickly.  Far too quickly for someone to truly memorize the phrase (Especially the longer ones).  So you may want to keep shaking and go through these a few times before trying to use them.
     Also, there are no options.  The entire application is controlled by you simply shaking it to get a new random pickup line.  There is no audio option, information option, review option...  These are all things that would have been useful for such an application.
     Below are some samples of pickup lines that this application provides.
 

     Used correctly, some of these phrases may gain you the upper hand.  Used incorrectly, they may gain you a slap to the face.  Try not to lead with "Can I take you home?".

     This is an interesting application.  It provides several funny phrases.  I do like that they have audio to help with the speech aspect, though I would like the option to turn it off or repeat it.  I don't like that there are absolutely no options at all, actually.  And because of that, this wont get a great score at the end of the day.  But the app is clean and to the point.  Easy to use, displays a good variety of phrases.  I think anyone wanting to know how to try picking up a girl (Or guy) in Japanese might find this helpful.  Or, if nothing else, humourous.

Rating: 2.5/5

• Free
• Category: Education
• Released: Sep 24, 2009
• Version: 1.5
• Size: 2.1 MB
• Language: English
• Seller: Adan Vielma
• © 2009 LOLriffic Travel Language Tutors

Rated 12+ for the following:

• Infrequent/Mild Mature/Suggestive Themes
• Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content or Nudity
• Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humor
• Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, or Drug Use or References

たいようけん? -LIVEを盛り上げよう-

Taiyouken? -Let's Live It Up!- App for iPhone
     Bald is beautiful!  And that's not all.  Rubbing a bald head can give amazing power!  Let's charge up by rubbing as much as possible in the short time allowed!
     The story is supposedly that the concert for today is dull.  The character (I assume is a girl, since she's wearing a hair band... ironically enough) must rub her head furiously to gain power and make the concert amazing.
     Now, again this is one of those apps that did not get translated before releasing it to the US market.  However, it's easy enough to figure out.  Plus the character's face at the end will let you know if you did well or not.  Even if you are unable to read the message.  So you can still try for the high score!
     From the front screen you'll see a large read button, a spot under it where your high score will be listed, then two green buttons underneath.
     The green button on the left is for information/help.  It will tell you to use your finger to swipe back and forth across the head, vigorously.  This will help the character to power up.
     The green button to the right takes you to the leader boards at the Game Center.
     Press the red button to begin the game.  Ready?  Start shining that head!  When you're doing really well, the character's expression will change and sparkles appear.  When the time runs out, you'll get a score.
     Below are some sample screens from the end of the game.  I took some different ones to show a range of emotion for the character, at the end.

     TOP LEFT: "From here and there you hear signs of laughter" O-Chan's words: Oh, Somehow, I just can't stand it!!  My power is still not enough!! (Rough Translation)

     TOP RIGHT: "会場かワッと盛り上かつた" (It says something about a Prime Venue.  I couldn't translate it to make sense, sorry.) O-Chan's words: This is what I live for!  Oh, Alright!  I wont miss the next song!!

     BOTTOM LEFT:  "The audience was surprised with you"  O-Chan's words:  "No, not the reaction I wanted!  I want to have more people rising...

     BOTTOM RIGHT:  "The people encourage you to live up to the legend you've become" O-Chan's words: Depression Day!! It's the best delay! I am just a genius! (I have no idea, don't ask.  I did my best to translate this, but it never made sense.)

     I think this is a fun and simple game.  The O-Chan character is cute and funny.  Plus the game isn't time consuming so you can play whenever you have a few seconds to waste.  though I do wish they would release a translated version.  I can translate some, but I'm not fluent.  So a lot of the phrases are difficult for me.

Rating: 3.8/5

• Free
• Category: Games
• Updated: Nov 02, 2012
• Version: 1.0.1
• Size: 37.8 MB
• Language: English
• Seller: Dual Solution corporation
• © 2012 Dualsol

Rated 4+

Bearable

Bearable App for iPhone
     It's almost Halloween!  We all know you can't have Halloween without candy or bears, right?... What?  You can have Halloween without bears?  I don't believe you!
     There are 4 game play modes, as you can see in the picture to the right.  Story mode, Speed play, Timed mode and 2 player mode.
     Story Mode: You play a little panda bear that lives in an enchanted forest.  One day he realizes that something sinister has happened!  All of his friends have been transformed into delicious food!  Who would do such a thing!?  Help him find out by journeying on toward the answer.
     You will move along a path.  Each large icon represents a cut scene.  The small dots are progress toward the next scene.  You must play and win the puzzle stages 3 times to go from one cut scene to the next.
     The scenes have audio dialog as well as text to read along under the images.  It's a very cheesy story, as is the voice acting.  but somehow it just adds to the joy of the game.  It's the strangest thing.  You think yourself a fool for continuing through the story when it makes no sense.  At the same time you can't stop yourself from wondering what could possibly happen next.
     Below are some screens of cut scenes.  The art isn't spectacular but it gets the job done.  It's very colourful and eye catching.

     For some reason, my favourite part is that the bear finds a Pringles can (As you can see in the image above, to the left).  The Pringles can has a silly voice and calls the bear "Son" at the end of every level you beat.

     During the puzzle mode you will see many colourful shapes and panda heads on the screen.  Switch two to make a row or column of at least 3 of the same colour.  They have to be in a line.  Simple touching wont do.  Also, diagonal does not count.

     During the levels you can click the small button on the bottom left.  This is the "Hint" function.  It will let you know where you can switch some pieces to make matches.  This can come in handy when there's only one or two matches available on the board.
     If you do run out of matches the screen will reshuffle.  Also, just before the level end you might get a special event where all of the touching colours on the screen explode for one final extra point blast.  But you can't play any more after this happens.  If it's not enough points to beat the level, you'll lose and have to start that level over again
     Each level has a goal for how many points you need to earn to beat the level.  Sometimes you can acquire this quickly.  other times you can't.  It's all in the luck of the draw.
     To get a better score you want to get combos.  Find matches very quickly.  You'll know you're doing well based on the sounds the app makes after each match.  If they get higher and higher you're starting your combo.  If it goes back to the regular sound, you've taken too long.  You'll know you have a max combo when it goes from a high itched noise to a more 'exciting' sound.
     Winning levels will gain you points that you can spend on bonuses you can use at the beginning of a level.  You can see them on the screen to the right.  Buy them before playing the next level to get through more easily.  However, don't waste them.  You'll want to save up until the end of the story mode, when it gets harder.  You will also get 10000 bonus points after completing story mode.
     Speed Play:   This mode has a timer at the top.  Once the timer runs down, it's game over.  It keeps track of your best score.  This mode is for when you only have a small amount of time to waste.
     Time Play:  This mode will have a timer that slowly runs down at the top.  Gain as many points as you can before it runs out.  When you beat a stage it will replenish some of the time, based on how well you did (Combos get you extra seconds). This will continue to happen until you run out of time.  It will keep track of your best score.  Try to beat it!
     2P Mode: is for when you want to play with friends.  Se the phone between you on a solid surface.  One puzzle will be on each side.  One upside down, one right side up.  Each of you can make as many sets as possible.  A meter on the side will let you know who is winning.  You do not have access to hints during this game mode.
     I thought this was a fun and quirky little game.  Appropriate for all ages.  If you're no good at puzzles, I wouldn't worry too much.  The point goals in story mode tend to be low.  I think anyone could easily play this game.  Plus you can beat it in under an hour.
     This game will game you going around saying silly things like "The secret ingredient is real bear juice!" and other such nonsense.  it's just too silly not to give a try.
Rating: 4/5

• Free
• Category: Games
• Updated: Sep 12, 2012
• Version: 1.1
• Size: 12.4 MB
• Language: English
• Seller: Mooff Games Ltd
• © Mooff Games Ltd

Rated 4+

OldBooth Lite

OldBooth Lite App for iPhone
     Flash back to the days of black and white photos, pin curled hair and tucked in shirts.  It's Old Booth!  An app that can take a regular photo of you, a friend or loved one and transforms it into a classic early-late 20th century photo.
     You can use a photo from your album or take a brand new photo to use.  But make sure you're facing forward and don't have any hair in your face.  If you wear glasses, it may be a good choice to remove them.  As they can make it a bit more difficult when it comes to the blending process.
     The lite version of this application has 8 free photo bases to use (And 4 free bases that can be unlocked through Facebook or Twitter).  You can choose to spend 99 cents to buy the full version, which allows you to unlock additional photos.  In fact the full version of this application has 170 bases to choose from (But bases are purchased in 'sets'.  Paying for the full version does not allow you access to all the other bases).
     Once you choose your photo style you'll see the photo without the individual's face... Other than being horrifying, this is also useful.  You can fit the individual's head into this hole while taking a photo or click the photo library button to browse your device's gallery and find one that will fit properly in the hole.  The faces are not always straight on, so sometimes it can get complicated if you're using pre-taken photos.  For the best match, take a new photo.  This also works best if someone is taking the photo for you.  This is because with the front facing camera, you can only get so far away from the device.  And no one wants to look as though they have a huge face on a tiny head.
     Once you've fit yourself (Or someone else) into the picture there may be an issue with the skin tone.  They have a brightness shifter to help you try to match it up, as well as a way to shift the contrast.  Now mind you, this only does so much.  Try not to use photos that have a skin tone too drastically different from the subjects.  As far as the lite version goes, there aren't a lot of skin tone bases available.  It's really quite limited in that sense.  But in the full version there's far more variety.  To be fair though, I think they should have added more skin tone options to the free version.
     Once you've finished you can view your lovely new (old) photo!  You can share it with your friends by posting to Twitter or Facebook via the application.  You can also email it or save it to your device.
     On this (Left) screen you also have two options at the top.  Gallery: takes you to a page that lists all of the pictures you've made with this application (As seen to the right).  New: takes you back to the selection page to create a brand new look.
     Another nice function is the ability to use the same photo you used for your last edit.  When you select an old photo base and get to the scary no face person screen, you may notice in the bottom right corner that there is an option to use the same photo you used for your last edit.  This can often save time if you're trying out a lot of styles on the same person.  I really appreciate them implementing this.
     One last feature this application has that I really enjoyed was the ability to create your own bases from your own photos.  This means you can take a photo of you or a family member and remove the face.  You can then put someone else's face into the hole you've just created!
     I really enjoyed this app.  I think it's a fun and silly way to waste time or spend time with friends.  The free version is a bit limited, but this is generally to be expected.  I would still like to see more variety for skin tones in the free version.  Otherwise I think this is a really done application.  The price for the full version is also reasonable.  Why not give this a try?  You might just like it.
Rating: 4/5

• Free
• Category: Entertainment
• Updated: Jul 26, 2012
• Version: 5.1
• Size: 6.3 MB
• Language: English
• Seller: Piotr Bialkowski
• © GetApp

Rated 4+

I'd Cap That

I'd Cap That App for iPhone
     This is a simple idea... You have a photo, they have a caption.  Combine the two and viola... captioned photo.  Because it pulls the caption at random from a large list of possibilities, you can end up getting some really silly photo captions.  And sometimes it fits perfectly.
     You can either choose a photo from your library or Facebook.  Or you can take a brand new photo just for captioning.
     Once you've selected the photo, it will add a caption on top.  Tap the screen to see the options...  Like it?  Save the picture with the caption to your phone.  Don't care for that caption?  You can click the circle arrow (Recycle/reload) to have the application choose a brand new caption for you to try out.  Continue this process until it gives you one you like.  Below are some sample screens of captions it gave to some of my photos.  I did not reload these, I went with the first captions it assigned to the photos.  As always, click the images to load the larger version for easier reading.

     If you just can't find a caption you think fits that particular photo, click the custom caption button and make your own.
     If you want to run a filter over the photo you can do that too.  Just click the filter button at the middle bottom.  There are 10 filters to choose from.  If you look at the images below you can see one of the captioned images run through the Sepia filter.  All options available are Original, Sepia, Grey-scale, Downpour, Grunge, Candy, Night, Gravel, Emboss and Invert.

     I think this is a cute and fun application.  It's not really something anyone would 'need'... but it has the ability to make a photo much more entertaining.  Because of that, I like it.  Also, if you're wondering who that teen on the robotic horse is, that's my son.  He'll hate this post, I'm sure.
     I say give it a try.  Especially if you take a lot of photos of friends and family.  These can be a lot of fun to share.  Speaking of sharing, you can also share these via Twitter, email and Facebook directly through the application.  So why not give it a try?  You might be glad you did.
Rating: 4/5

• Free
• Category: Entertainment
• Updated: Sep 13, 2012
• Version: 1.50
• Size: 5.6 MB
• Language: English
• Seller: Cody Kolodziejzyk
• © 2011 Krisp Software

You must be at least 17 years old to download this app.

• Frequent/Intense Profanity or Crude Humor
• Infrequent/Mild Mature/Suggestive Themes
• Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, or Drug Use or References
• Frequent/Intense Sexual Content or Nudity